Trump Phone-Lock Screen Features His Favorite Person: Trump

Photo-Illustration: Intelligencer; Photos: Getty Images

Let’s try a visualization exercise. I’ll give you some prompts, and together we’re going to craft one of the Trumpiest videos of all time. Ready?


Okay, I’d like you to picture Donald Trump relaxing at Mar-a-Lago in the most him way possible. Can you see him in his red MAGA hat, scooting around in a golf cart?


Cool. Now make it Trumpier.

The golf cart features a “45” logo — no — a “47”?

You’re on the right track, but this scene needs way more Trump.

He’s also blasting the song “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” by James Brown?

So close! But let’s take the music to an 11.

It’s the version featuring Luciano Pavarotti?

Excellent. What else do you see in the golf cart?

A phone — a phone so he can blast out rambling Truth Social posts even while he’s golfing!

Absolutely! Now, final question. What’s on his lock screen?

A photo of Melania … no, wait, a photo of Ivanka.

Come on — this is obvious! Who’s Trump’s favorite person in the whole world?

Oh, it’s a photo of himself — JUST himself.

You’ve got it! Let’s add the finishing touch: What is he doing in the picture?

Uh, making a face that he thinks looks macho. Oh, and doing something stupid with his finger — like pointing or giving the thumbs-up?

Ding, ding, ding! Take a look at your absurd creation:

And let’s zoom in to admire that almost unbelievably narcissistic phone wallpaper.

Well done!

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